went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
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rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
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