I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Randomize