fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
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