in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
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Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
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Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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