white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
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I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
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I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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