Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
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he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
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They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
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