He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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