if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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