What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
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