Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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