Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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