need another drink. this is the easiest way
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize