The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Randomize