You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I would ride that face into the sunset
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize