He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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