someone owes me an orgasm
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I need to sanitize my soul.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize