I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
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I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
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Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
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