Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
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we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
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I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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