Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
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