I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize