haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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