In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
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For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
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I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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