Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Randomize