so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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