An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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