sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize