I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
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