Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
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