If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize