Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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