I CAN MOONWALK!
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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