Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Randomize