just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
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