So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
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