She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize