I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
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