"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize