so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
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