Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
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I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
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ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I think my moral compass just broke
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize