I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize