Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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