Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize