I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Me. At least after what I've been through.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
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This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
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I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
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