I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Why is there bacon in the couch?
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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