The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize