first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
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