he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
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Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
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