I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
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