You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
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I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
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But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
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