on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
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I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
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I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
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